Design changes make men women

If a mad scientist in a white coat came up to you and says it can make you a better woman with a few bits and pieces and the cemetery of the case, you will be well within your rights to be a little worried.

Of course, white blouses are so last season, and we men love you as you are, but if we could you recast from scratch, we can think of a number of things that make you even more surprising. In fairness, as you no doubt do the same for us, but for now it's our turn. Here are the changes you choose to do so if we had a say in the creation of Women 2.0:

Behavior

The current model

Unless you've spent long, long periods of study, it can be scarily unpredictable. Even if we had a time machine with which we could monitor his behavior, it should still be unpredictable.

Of course, it goes to work and a gym at the same time every day, friends by SMS like clockwork, and regularly calls his mother, but she surprises us with: Sally's birthday party ( "Of course, I say that we '); dinner with his parents ( "You have told my mother could not wait to see again"), spontaneous crying ( "I'm fine, leave me alone"), and you know the rest.

The New Model

It is time, copy it to our PDA, and be completely flexible about moving things, if we need them to be moved. Includes anything and everything --

18.15-18.35: complain about what a slut Angela accounts;
19.00-19.15: tell the story of the tramp shouting at the gym not wipe the device when it is performed;
20.00-20.10: express my gratitude for being such a great listen;
20.10-00.00: to show that gratitude with a new position. (Okay, May it be a surprise.)

Expectations

The current model

Despite the efforts of how we look in May, it is not so easy being a man. Expectations of us women are easy ( "Come here and love me sweet"); sigh-inducing ( "You promised to take my car to wash the car"); little difficult ( "Let's go for a race") difficult ( "Are - you lose your friends?") and very difficult ( "Why can not you be out of [ex-boyfriend stupid name here]."

The New Model

As we have not yet mastered the force (which is where we have our share in the wave of our friend of the direction and whispers something to his desire us another beer), the best thing for it to to be very susceptible to hypnosis.

We teach this ancient mystic art (there must be a DIY site, no?) And with the click of our fingers and a few choice keywords, its expectations will be met.

Son: "Would you go with your loser friends tonight?"
Him: "Like my friends. To you, they are like the cutest puppy in the world. Like puppies. When I Snap my fingers, you'll be filled with happiness when I say that I'm going out with my friends ".
Son (sigh): "I love puppies.

Talking

The current model

It has so much to say, so many people, so most of the time. She knows lots of words, and she was not afraid to use his immense vocabulary. And when she speaks, she is SMSing. Sometimes she speaks and SMSing.

As Dr. Frasier Crane, we're listening. Yet we are supposed to be. You know how sometimes you say to your man, you is not listening to me? There are disagreements, but you know you're right. It is not.

Often, we will consider the really important things, such as the future of the global economy, the state of the nation, the divisions within the ruling party, elections, KFC and Nando's, or Lager Lite blond or brown or red ... suffice it to say, it's a long list of important concerns viril.

The New Model

It will also be talkative as the current model, but it will have a very awareness evolved telepathy, when mulling over key issues. She will play a key role in achieving our dilemmas (blond, brown or red - why not all three, I will make a request ") and use his telepathic power calm during our discussions, we are not occupied important issues.

Dating

The current model

She is bored with dull stupid pick-up lines and flirting with our spiritual friends expressing their support and encouragement of the next table. She knows her vichyssoise of foie gras and Black Pinot Gris by Pino. (Foie gras is bad, apparently, but we try not to eat too many things we can not pronounce.)

She expects us to know that Spur is not his idea of a night of fun and is not Dros, regardless of what they claim in their ads. She spends more time than her best friend thinks that we are worth the preparation of an evening with us. It is almost miraculous that humanity has not disappeared eons ago, leaving the talking dogs to run the planet.

The New Model

She's like Mother Teresa (but alive, warm and sexually active) - it does not discriminate.

It is quite bad movies get references obscure, but full of spirit with which we pepper our conversation, she is crazy about sport, but without hesitation, refer to our knowledge, beer rating of fuel, his mouth is refined, but not so much that she did not often something has to meat cooked in the fireplace.

Fashion

The current model

Blahnik or rent? For a well-dressed woman, only a weak-minded men as nothing more than a rhetorical question.

For most men, more than three pairs of shoes is not necessary (working weekends and a gym, both are sometimes the same), was the last dress we bought for the wedding Michael and we have to work for the last two years, and Levi's, we bought our first salary is still in fairly good shape, thank you for asking.

Even if the room is the center of Manhattan, she firmly believes that it is his right, not a duty, to restore itself in the image of Carrie Bradshaw, a fictional, middle-aged woman who dresses like, uh, the character of a television program. (Jack Bauer, Braveheart and the guys from 300 are not afraid of labels. Furthermore, we do. Grrrr).

The New Model

It still looks as pretty as a picture but a good idea to rent first and lust after Manolos. (Seriously, babe, that's why we spend so much time to contemplate the global economic crisis.)

Self-Image

The current model

Despite his pleasure, without fear of means, from time to time, she managed to surprise us with his insecurity and vulnerability: "Does my bum look big in this?" "It fant-ass-tic. .. Come to Papa. "At this point, uncertainty is replaced by seething, uncontrollable rage, despite his insistence on the front of our honesty, whatever the circumstances.

Similarly, well-meaning and innocent are often poorly compliments ( "That shirt makes your boobs look huge. Do you wear a Wonderbra? Come to Daddy"), without us even being aware of potential rather than of an insolent, seething uncontrollable rage.

The New Model

She will use her telepathic powers to know that we are quite fond of her ass / breast / leg / arm / hair / songs, even if it feels they are too big / small / short / thin / fat / hairy / hair / black / light / even / uneven.

Gender

The current model

Sassy, sexy and sometimes a little too cocksure, she knows what she likes and loves it - and loves it with real orgasms. Who the devil is quite a lot of pressure for us.

We are all to show a girl a good time. We read these get-fit/quit-smoking/be-the-world 's-plus-lover of articles in magazines for men with pictures of Lee-Anne Liebenberg, we are very good to try new things and not change, towing, or in touch if you have to fondling, caressing, teasing and tickling.

We are not gynecologists, however. We have mastered the G-spot, but you yourself (or your bi-curious friend of Varsity) for the rest of the alphabet spots we believe girls are puzzles for us.

The New Model

She is the hottie confidence, but for her, our great bathroom reading has given us the greatest lover in the world, its bi-curious friend joined Varsity often without post-threesome awkwardness and orgasm is always good after a few minutes penetration.